Let The Smoke Out!

1st American Home Warranty. Worst. Warranty. EVAR.

Our AC went out Sunday. Now, I understand that AC service companies aren’t likely to respond on Sunday to a warranty claim. So, after calling 1st American, I called around to try to find a company that would come out and diagnose the problem.

My cooling fan in my AC compressor is shot.

1st American dispatched one company, then yanked the dispatch for some reason, causing the first company to not show up.

The second company is claiming a service date no sooner than this Friday. (3 days out)

We’re in Florida, where it’s hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire in June. It’s also so humid that you can go outside and wring water from your (previously) dry clothing.

I have an extreme asthmatic in the house, and humidity and heat are not good for her.

1st American’s response: $50 toward “temporary” comfort, ie: a fan or a window AC unit.

If they hadn’t bungled the first dispatch (or the 2nd, for that matter) we might be a finished claim.

Idiots

I sit here, alone.
Not abandoned, nor unloved,
only alone.
I wait for your touch, across the miles.
The electric touch of your words.

I think here, alone.
Thoughts of the love that I’m given
and of the love I submit in exchange.
The sadness I have is small,
to be banished by your return.

I feel here, alone.
I examine my feelings,
so new, yet so strong.
They fill me with wonder,
spurring me to new heights.

I love here, alone,
but alone only in body.
For our hearts and minds are joined.
Our bond of love banishing true isolation,
as we each love the other, alone.

(C) Jeff Wood, 2002, 2009.

Tags: Poetry

So, I have a WiFi card as well as an Ethernet connection, so why would I want a wireless (ie: cellular) modem? Well, because someday I will not be sitting near my trusty Ethernet cable nor my wonderous WiFi…being an Over The Road driver does that to ya sometimes.

I have an Alltel aircard, aka UTStarcomm UM150ALB. At it’s core, it is a cell phone, without a microphone, speaker, or touchpad. You plug it into a USB port and, in Linux, it hands you /dev/ttyACM0, or what we like to call here “The gateway to the Intertubez.”

Except when it doesn’t work. I had last used this card on a *buntu install, and I have since moved on to Funtoo. When I first got the card all I did was plug it in, fire up kppp or wvdial, input the phone number (#777) and my username (myaircardphonenumber@alltel.net) and the password (alltel), then point at /dev/ttyACM0 at the proper baud rate, and I was on my way at DSL speeds.

By the way, that username and password is pretty generic, since alltel uses the same password across oll the aircard accounts. I imagine you could use this info as well to tether your normal phone, but I’d get the internet plan on it first. Last time I checked, it was cheaper than my card…except you can’t take phonecalls when online with your phone.

The problem I had when I tried to use the aircard with my new Funtoo distro, under a 2.6.27 kernel, was that after I popped in the modem, I never got the /dev/ttyACM0 needed to dial out. All I saw was /dev/ttyUSB0-4, and try though I might, these ports didn’t speak Modem. (all that Purple Hayes, y’know…)

The solution is easy, but it was hard to figure out. So I will spare you the effort of all the thinking and tell you that what I did was to rmmod options, and lo! ACM0.

Aparently cdc_acm needs to be loaded BEFORE options. Funtoo uses OpenRC, so I added “cdc_acm” to /etc/conf.d/modules. Your distro may store it’s list of modules to autoload elsewhere, and I wouldn’t know where.

Now I have ttyUSB0 and I have dev/ttyACM0

Hope this helps you.

I like Linux. Now, many use (K)Ubuntu, which is fine for most, and I use it myself at times. I prefer Gentoo, or Gentoo-based distros like Sabayon.

Recently, I found Daniel Robbins’ (The Founder of Gentoo) Funtoo.org. He builds stage 3 tarballs nightly for different architectures, which you can then downoad and use as the base of your Gentoo system. These fresh stages are nice to help avoid the initial “emerge -avuDN world” update one should do to make sure one has the latest updates before going on to build your system.

I’m in the process of creating a Funtoo-oriented bootsplash/kdm theme/desktop background set.

I was inspired by the sabayon-smoke wallpaper (you can find it here) and came up with this:

I’m subscribed to the SmokeRing BBQ mailing list. On occasion we get unsubscribe requests, posted to the list. Sometimes they are in HUGE fonts, and can be somewhat offensive.

Instructions for unsubscribing are clearly printed at the bottom of most emails a person will receive from our list, but some people seem incapable of reading these. For those “special” people, we now have new, simpler instructions. I’ve taken the liberty of including them here.

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To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimetre torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a 66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into place using the band aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling hole, making sure that it seated correctly. Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.

The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to use.

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the wing shaft on the southern most section of the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit,
rotate the heater core to the “on” position.

The “on” position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash, signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is off, flip the toggle switch labelled “ON/OFF” to the “ON” position and count to 47 before logging on to the system.

Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously.

Press enter.

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please follow the above directions closely.

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Of course, if those instructions are too involved, you can generally send a reply to “unsubscribe@listname.listprovider.com” or some variant.

Ours is “SmokeRingBBQ-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com”

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