Swine Flu, I haz it.

“zOMG!! Swine Flu is going to kill us alllllll!!!!!!!111″

This is what the media would have you think.

My Fiancee’s Pulmonologist let us know we have the swine flu today.

“It’s the End of The World as We Know It, but I feel fine….”

Actually, I feel like shit. As I sit here sick as a (ahem) pig, and feeling like a 2-legged snot factory, racked by coughing (coffcoffcoff!) and hawking up some ungodly colored crap, I might feel like *my* world is ending, but I doubt this will cause a breakdown in modern society.

Now, that isn’t to say that people aren’t dying. The young are hit because old farts have some resistance to H1N1, having had other variants of Swine Flu in the past. Pregnant women, Asthmatics, HIV-positives are at risk. I’m sure there are others, don’t feel slighted if I have left you out.

Or do feel slighted, I don’t care. I’m sick, people.

Here’s my view of the problem: The media, no longer being able to scare us with nuclear annihilation by the commies, conventional war or terrorism, now uses biological agents to scare us. Recall SARS? Yup, we were all going to die from SARS. What about the Bird Flu? Yeah, that was not only going to kill us, but curve our spines, and keep the country from winning the war. (I miss Carlin, sorry)

Now we have Swine Flu. Everyone is so Skeered Sheetless(tm) that EVERYONE is getting a shot. Even if you don’t need it, because CNN told you to, you’re getting a shot. There is a direct correlation between the lack of H1N1 vaccine and the sheer volume of people that DO NOT NEED the shot that are getting it.

And let’s face it, no one watches the news when the news is “nothing to report today, folks,” or the same blathering about the war on terror, or drugs, or poverty, etc, so while scaring the hell out of people makes them watch your channel, CNN, it’s really screwed up the whole supply and demand thing for H1N1 vaccine.

On a side note, I find it interesting that CNN is using BLUE to denote how bad off a state has H1N1. Maybe we can call it the Democrat Flu…

I didn’t need a shot and I didn’t get one. Fly to California, catch H1N1.

My School-Teaching-Asthmatic-Fiancee needed one, didn’t get one because there’s none available.

I fly home, one little kiss (SWAK!) and she comes home with that H1N1 on her lips… (Yup, Eddie was good back then, eh?)

I’d like to personally thank the SOB that took my fiancee’s vaccine. Asshole. Just because your 21″ peephole into Paradise told you to get one, you didn’t need it. Yeah, I mean you. You know who you are.

Which leads me to my main point: The world will not end due to Swine Flu. Sorry, not happening. Obama’s crappy policies, maybe. But not the flu. If you aren’t in a high risk group, please don’t waste your time and money getting a shot. It’s really not all that bad being sick with this crap, and the shot that you don’t get could save the life of someone else.

And if you are in one of the at-risk groups, then go get your shot.

We won’t be needing any now, thanks. There’s 2 doses freed up.